


we all bend and break sometimes

by LJF



Series: we all want love/we all want honor [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Banishment, Blind Character, Boats and Ships, Earthbending & Earthbenders, Exhaustion, Fake Braille, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Metal Ship, Metalbending & Metalbenders, Pre-Relationship, Scribe, Three Year Exile, Toph Beifong Being Awesome, Toph Beifong-centric, Transcribed, Tsundere Zuko, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26623228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LJF/pseuds/LJF
Summary: Toph spentthree yearsliving on ametal boat. It took her a while, but she eventually started figuring out this wholebending metalthing.Unfortunately,someonekept claiming all the avaliable scrap metal before she could get her hands on it. What was Sparky evendoingwith that much metal?
Relationships: Toph Beifong & Iroh, Toph Beifong & Zuko
Series: we all want love/we all want honor [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936222
Comments: 20
Kudos: 441





	we all bend and break sometimes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SeleneMoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeleneMoon/gifts).



> Because she wanted to see Zuko using Toph's little fake braille to transcribe stories for her. (I hope you like how this turned out, SM!)
> 
> Guys, you should seriously check her out. She's written three awesome ATLA fics: [Blood Relatives](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23886088) and [ Five Times Zuko Called the Avatar Grandpa...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26235175), which are about Aang being Zuko's literal great-grandfather; and [ Out of Sync](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25869829), a platonic soulmates AU where Aang wakes up from the iceberg to realize that not only have his people all died out, but his soulmates are _gone_.  
>  _Blood Relatives_ is one of my favorite fics, and the fact that SM actually read, enjoyed, _and_ commented on my little AU makes me _really_ happy.
> 
> Alright, IDK the actual chemical composition of meteorite iron, but considering the uses Toph finds for her _space bracelet_ in "The Promise" comics, I don't think what I've shown here is too far fetched.
> 
> And I know it's not really obvious here, because the whole chapter is from Toph's perspective, but remember what I said last time about her lack of an actual sleep-cycle? Yeah, she naps at random times and is then also _awake_ at random hours of the night. She probably _could_ do something about that if she really wanted to, but since she prefers to avoid most of the crew anyways, it's not a major concern for her.

_"All our scars are not the same."_

_\- "Anna Clendening, "Bend & Break" _

It started with the bracelet.

(Even though she _knew_ it was just another one of the stupid betrothal gifts, and that his parents had probably picked it out, there was some childish part of her that had always thought of it as a birthday present.)

The bracelet was _weird_. Toph had learnt to recognize different metals by a combination of weight, sound, texture, and temperature, and, if she had to guess, she'd say the thing was made of iron (although the engraved flame was probably gold)-- a fairly common metal, though somewhat unusual for a piece of jewelry meant for a royal, but she hadn't considered it anything especially strange in and of itself.

And yet......

Sometimes, when she was feeling especially angry or annoyed, she _thought_ she felt the bracelet on her arm shiver slightly. She'd always believed it was just her imagination...... until she started living on a boat.

As a rule, Toph didn't like boats. Whether they were made of metal or wood, the fact was that they weren't _earth_. She couldn't _see_. Metal ships like Zuko's, at least, were steam-powered, which meant there was a decent supply of coal on board, but it wasn't _the same_. Also, it was kind of slippery under her bare feet. (Not cold, though-- there were _some_ benefits to traveling with a bunch of firebenders, and a constant heat source was one of them.)

Honestly, for the first few months on board, she'd spent most of her time either in the coal storage room or her bed, only emerging whenever they made port. (Apparently, Zuko hadn't even been _aware_ that she was on board until they'd stopped at the Western Air Temple and she'd run off the ship and started making dirt angels.)

Eventually, however, she'd noticed something _odd_. The ship, as far as she could tell, was _also_ made of iron. And yet, it felt _different_ than the bracelet. She couldn't figure it out. She'd spent the next several days exploring the ship, trying to figure out if it was the thickness or shape, but had eventually come to the conclusion that the metal of the bracelet was, in fact, _weird_.

And that was when she realized that she could sense earth _in_ the bracelet. That wasn't particularly weird in and of itself, most metals _did_ contain trace amounts of earth, purified and reforged who knew how many times. The bracelet, however, seemed to have a much higher concentration than the iron of the ship did.

So much so that she started wondering if she could _bend_ it. Which was ridiculous, everyone knew you couldn't bend _metal._

......But everyone _also_ knew that little blind girls were weak and fragile, and Toph had never let _that_ stop her.

Nothing happened the first time she tried it, of course. Or the second. Or the tenth. She'd spend hours at a time focusing on the thing, _willing_ it to budge, just a little. It never seemed to work.

She didn't spend _all_ her time trying to move (figurative) mountains, of course. Once Uncle had realized that her "seasickness" (thank the _spirits_ she didn't have to deal with _actual_ seasickness on top of everything else, it sounded horrible) had abated enough to let her explore, he started trying to get her to _do_ things. Things like playing pai sho (she didn't mind that), joining the crew for music night (no thanks) and actually _talking_ to Zuko.

_Zuko._

The same Zuko who spent all of his time either yelling at the crew or hanging out in _his_ room doing who-knew-what-- when he wasn't trying to convince her to _leave_.

"What are _you_ doing _here_?" Zuko had asked, as soon as he got over the shock of her presence. She'd smiled. He'd always been so infuriatingly _polite_ before, it was nice to know he could get angry like the rest of them.

"I heard you were going on some crazy quest and thought it sounded like more fun than hanging around the Caldera," Toph had replied. 

"Lady Toph, why don't you go _home_?" He'd taken a deep breath, as though trying to calm his temper in front of a lady. She'd made her best attempt at _rolling her eyes_.

"Did you not hear me? I just said-"

"No, I meant _home_ ," he said, and she could _feel_ tiny bits of heat flying from his fingers in frustration. "You know, your parents? Don't you want to go back to them? Because I should be able to get you there, and-"

"Back to _Gaoling_?" Toph had scoffed. She'd be lying if she said she _didn't_ miss her parents, at least a little, but she'd _hated_ Gaoling. Hated living in that _prison_ , hated people constantly treating her like she wasn't there, hated the way her parents claimed to the whole _world_ that she _didn't exist_. She'd _never_ go back to that. "No thanks."

"Lady Toph-"

"And that's another thing," Toph had said. "We're out in the middle of nowhere, Sparky, so you don't need to act like this is one of our little tea parties. Just call me Toph."

" _Sparky_?!"

Needless to say, it had only gotten worse from there.

So yeah, talking to Sparky, while entertaining, wasn't something that happened very often. _Usually_.

The problem with coal was that it was a _fuel source_. Which meant it didn't hold together very well.

" _Argh_!" Toph groaned in frustration and _flung_ the crumbling lump at the wall.

"Lady Toph? What are you _doing_?" Zuko, who'd walked into the room in time to see that, sounded confused. "Why are you destroying our fuel supply?"

"It's the only dirt on this _stupid_ ship," she complained. "But I can't get it to-- _argh_ \-- hold up!" She threw her latest attempt onto the ground.

"You know, I'd be happy to take you to the Earth Kingdom, where I'm sure you could find _plenty_ of dirt." Then he seemed to realize what she'd said. "What do you need it to hold up for?"

"I'm trying to carve my name, but the stupid dirt keeps falling apart." She threw her hands in the air. "Is it too much to ask for one little slab of _rock_ around here?"

"This doesn't look anything _like_ your name," Zuko said inspecting one of her less crumbled attempts.

"Of course not, I'm _blind_." Her first, _early_ attempts at a legible writing system had just used carved standard characters, many of which she _had_ been taught. She'd quickly realized that wouldn't work-- they were way too complicated. It was fine for large things like signs, but on a small slate the size of a regular scroll, it was hard to discern one from another. _She_ could do it, sensing where the stone had been cut, but she wanted to make sure this would work for blind people who _weren't_ earthbenders, too.

Instead, she'd come up with about thirty or so easily identifiable symbols and shapes, associating each with a different sound, and worked from there. It wasn't a perfect system, and she'd had trouble deciding if certain sounds _should_ use different marks (she'd spent two weeks trying to figure out if the ' _ai_ ' sound in words like _ancient_ and _aim_ should use the same symbol as the ' _ah_ ' sound in _apple_ and _after_ ), but eventually she'd come up with something that seemed to work well enough.

But none of that _mattered_ if she didn't have anything to _write_ on.

"So how do you-- forget it," Zuko said, marching away. Toph felt a slight sting of disappointment. For a moment, she'd heard something in his voice that actually sounded like _i_ _nterest_ , but it had disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"Forget this," she grumbled, and went back to her room to practice with the bracelet.

It took _months_ , but eventually, she managed to make the bracelet twitch _on purpose_!

"I did it!" Toph yelled, pumping her fist. It wasn't much, just a tiny movement, but it was _something_.

"Toph?" That was Uncle Iroh knocking. She let him in. "We're about to reach the port. I came to ask if you wanted to come shopping with me."

"Sure, why not?" She didn't care much for shopping, but it was hard to say no to Uncle. Besides, sweet, sweet _dirt_. She grabbed her bag and walked with him up to the deck.

"By the way, I thought I heard cheering coming from your room," Uncle commented. "Did something exciting happen?"

"No, nothing special," she said. She hadn't mentioned her earlier attempts for fear of sounding crazy. Now, though, she decided to wait and surprise him once she'd figured it out enough to actually do something _interesting_.

Once she'd gotten the hang of it, manipulating the bracelet's shape was pretty easy. Within weeks, she could form it into all kinds of crazy shapes. (She'd run her fingers over the etching often enough over the years that getting it back to its usual shape when she was done with her practice was simple enough.)

Bending other kinds of metal was a little trickier, but within another few months, she could do that, too.

The _problem_ was actually _finding_ metal to bend. Toph was no engineer, she didn't know what parts of the ship she could warp without sinking the whole thing. Still, there _should_ be at least _some_ metal lying around. But there _wasn't_.

"Prince Zuko asked that any available scrap metal be given to him directly," the engineers told her.

 _What on_ earth _is Sparky doing with_ that _much metal?_

With little other choice, she started taking advantage of Uncle's little _shopping trips_ as an excuse to get more metal. (If Uncle ever wondered what she was doing with so many knives, he never asked.) (And if he noticed that she walked through the metal corridors of the ship with more confidence, rather than clinging to the wall and measuring every careful step, he didn't comment.)

Sparky had nightmares. Once she'd adapted her earthbending-sense to the metal of the ship, it was fairly obvious. She could sense the erratic heartbeat said nightmares brought on from several rooms away.

It drove her nuts. She did most of her metalbending practice at night, and that crazed beating made it _impossible_ to concentrate.

(Somehow, Toph got into the habit of checking in on him during those restless nights, soothing him back into something more peaceful. She didn't want to imagine how he'd react if he found out about _that_.)

And yet, she'd noticed that for the past several weeks, she hadn't sensed it. At first, she thought there was something faulty in her senses, but no, she could still _feel_ him. There was _definitely_ something strange there. It wasn't as slow as a resting heart rate should be, but it was steadier than in his nightmares.

 _Is he..... awake?_ Oma and Shu, had he decided to stop sleeping to prevent dreaming? That was a disaster waiting to happen.

Quietly, she crept towards his room, put her hands on the door, and _saw_.

Zuko wasn't in his bed. He was sitting at a table, doing _something_. She could feel heat moving, was he practicing his firebending? But she'd heard him and Uncle training before-- firebending involved a lot of swift _movement_. Sparky wasn't moving around, just sitting down. _What is he_ doing _?_

A few hours later, she woke up and concentrated. He was sleeping.

_Now, let's see what all this is about._

She carefully walked back to his room and opened the door, making as little noise as possible. He was still at the desk-- he'd clearly fallen asleep in the middle of whatever he'd been doing. He held a sheet of metal in his hand. Carefully, she pried it out, noting a thick pile of similar sheets on the floor next to him.

 _is this what he's been using all that metal for? But what_ is _it?_

She ran her fingers over it, feeling the carvings that had been _seared_ into the metal.

_'K-ah-l m-i N-o-r-eh-n'_

Was that..... the writing system she'd come up with? (She really ought to come up with a name for it. _Beifong_ , maybe?) How did he even _know_ it?

 _Uncle._ She'd taught Iroh about it during his visits to her in the Caldera, and he'd found the idea of a written language one could feel _fascinating_. But what, exactly, was Zuko 'writing'?

Toph felt the desk, noting the open scroll Zuko's head rested on. _So he's copying something? But what-_

Suddenly, she had a flash of memory.

_"'Call me Noren,'" Zuko said, one hand on his hip. "'An honorable name, suitable for one such as myself!'"_

_"You guys are really big on all this 'honor' stuff, huh?" Toph said, taking another sip of her tea._

_"Please don't interrupt, Lady Toph," Zuko said, lowering the scroll in his other hand. "It ruins the experience."_

_"We wouldn't want to do that," Toph said, smiling._

_Zuko?_ Was he doing what she _thought_ he was? She smiled, grabbing the blanket off of his bed and draping it over his shoulder.

When her thirteenth birthday rolled around a few months later, she pretended to be surprised to find, among the pile of gifts Uncle had gotten her, a thick pile of metal sheets engraved with the _entirety_ of _Love Amongst the Dragons_.

(Uncle Iroh claimed he didn't know where it had come from. He was lying.)

_"Darling, you can cry a little longer. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."_

_\- Anna Clendening, "Bend & Break" _

**Author's Note:**

> At first, I was just going to have Toph constantly buy way more silverware than any one person could possbily need, but then I realized people in the world of Avatar mostly use chopsticks, so I was like "what's small and made of metal that Toph could buy a lot of?" And then I was like "oooh, _sharp things_."
> 
> For anyone curious about Toph's gift to _Zuko_ , it was her parents' idea to give him some kind of sword, but Toph picked out those specific broadswords. However, she was _not_ thrilled with the fact that she had to say they were so he could protect her-- she doesn't need protection!
> 
> I don't know much about the history of shipmaking, but considering that it's fairly obvious in canon that Zuko's ship is an older model than the ones used by Zhao and others, I'm assuming his is made of iron, while the newer models are likely made of steel or some other alloy.  
> And as to the fact that in canon, she legit took about five minutes to figure out metalbending, while here it takes several months? I'll attribute that to the fact that, in times of intense pressure, it's not uncommon for people to be able to access untold amounts of strength they hadn't known they had _before_. Here, Toph's not in any danger if she can't figure this out right away, she doesn't have anyone to teach her like the characters in LOK do, and she's really just doing this as a hobby more than anything else.
> 
> Do remember that in _this_ timeline, Toph has never fought in any Earth Rumbles, and, while she knows the way that she uses her bending is different from (and somewhat stronger than) regular people, she hasn't really faced off against too many other earthbenders, so she doesn't really do the whole "I am the greatest earthbender in the world!" ( _Yet._ )
> 
> Ages: I figure Zuko's about a year and a half older than Toph, so her thirteenth birthday would have been about a year and a half pre-"The Boy in the Iceberg"-- around halfway through the exile.
> 
> (And yes, I totally stole the idea of Child!Zuko putting on a one-man performance of _Love Amongst the Dragons_ from SeleneMoon. Seriously, guys, go read _Blood Relatives_.)
> 
> Fun Fact: Because a lot of types of motion sickness are related to an imbalance between what the eyes see and the body feels, people who are totally blind don't get it as often as sighted people. While there _are_ some types of motion sickness they _can_ have, I'm assuming for the purposes of the fic that seasickness is not actually one of them.  
> Public Servce Announcement: I do want to emphasize that I don't actually know any people who are totally blind, and most of my knowledge of visual impairment comes from cursory research and fictional characters. If anyone with more knowledge or experience ever notices any inconsistencies with my portrayal of Toph's blindness, please let me know.  
> I _also_ don't know much about linguistics, writing systems, or braille-- but neither does Toph, so I figured my depiction of her made-up writing system couldn't be too far off. (And yes, Noren really _does_ mean honorable. The Fire Nation has a _serious_ obsession with honor.)
> 
> So, other than this and _nobody wants to pay the asking price_ , the rest of my ideas for this series are all set during the canonical time period. If anyone wants to see more of Zuko and Toph's adventures _during_ the three year exile, let me know!
> 
> Come hit me up on [tumblr](https://ljf613.tumblr.com/)!


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